Chiropractor Dr. Alexander Jimenez examines being able to have sex despite having back pain.
The results of SpineUniverse’s national survey on Sexual Satisfaction and Back Pain (read the article Back Pain and Its Impact on Sexual Satisfaction for survey results) indicate that back pain ruins the sex lives of many people.
It is vital to consider that behind the numbers are real individuals, while the statistical results of the survey are significant. People who care about their partners and their sexual gratification satisfaction. People who are now frustrated and even depressed regarding the impact of back pain on their sex lives.
What exactly can they do to better their situation?
Most specialists agree that three tips can allow you to have better sex… even with back pain:
Tip # 1: Talk It Out
For many people, talking about sex comes for others; their faces turn red, even thinking about possibly referring to sex.
Nonetheless, you, as well as your partner, have to locate a method to discuss your back disorder and the way that it will affect— or already does change—your relationship.
Take the time to talk through the five dilemmas below:
- Back pain: How intense is the pain? Where does it hurt? What moves or increases or positions alleviates the problem?
- Sex drive: Is your back pain killing your sex drive? Then you’ve got to discuss this if it is. If you do not clarify why and begin avoiding having sex, your relationship with your partner can be damaged. It’s more straightforward to identify that it is a problem, never entirely theirs …and then find a solution together.
- Emotional Impact: What does back pain do to your emotions? Do you feel less appealing to your partner? Depressed?
- Physical Limitations: Living with back pain means living with physical constraints in multiple facets of your daily life. What physical conditions would you now need to work about during sex?
- Intimacy: What physical and nonphysical steps can enhance familiarity? (Yes, understanding means more than sex.) Within limits caused by back pain, what else can you do to feel close and connected?
Tip # 2: Practical Changes
Here we go, the nitty-gritty details of what to do (or not do). (It is ok in case you skipped ahead to this part, but make sure to return and browse the remaining post.)
It may not be the sexiest thing to think about, but you have to remember your diagnosis. Have you got spinal stenosis? A herniated disc? Degenerative changes in your spine? Because what is causing your pain affects how your body reacts to different positions, your analysis is vitally important during sex. For example:
- If you have spinal stenosis, your back pain will probably get worse if you arch your back during sex.
- Your pain will probably improve should you bend forward during sex when you have a disc herniation or degenerative disk disorder.
So if you’re able to identify which positions naturally lessen your back pain, you can then accommodate your position during sex to help make the experience less painful, given your specific state. For example:
- Men that have degenerative disk disease may locate their back pain is decreased by lying with a pillow placed under their low back, while their partner straddles them.
Change The Place
As we’ve learned from Hollywood films, sex does not occur merely in a bed. And perhaps being out of bed will actually help lower your back pain. For example:
- In case you like lying in your back during sex, a solid surface, such as a rug on the floor, maybe more comfy for you.
But remember, back pain is individual if you are on a soft mattress, and perhaps your pain is less during sex. You are required to figure out what’s best for you and your partner.
Rest Your Back
Back pain is frequently made worse by your muscles becoming tense as well as knotted around the region that was painful. Going in a hot tub before sex, having a soothing massage, and sometimes even just using heat or ice packs on the affected region can all ease away muscle pains just before sex.
For more practical tips about sex and back pain, more details on sexual positions go to Sex & Back Pain.
Tip # 3: Speak To A Medical Specialist
We know, talking about sex together with your doctor isn’t the most appealing notion (unless your doctor is Dr. Ruth). But think of this: When Viagra first became available, many men were too embarrassed to talk about erectile dysfunction using their doctor. Subsequently, Bob Dole appeared in among their advertisements, and that made it easier to talk to your physician about sex. (Maybe the thinking was—’If Bob Dole, a politician, can declare he has a problem, maybe I can, too!’)
Besides, physicians have heard it all and they’re prepared to help. Your physicians care about all facets of your physical and emotional well-being; they won’t pity, judge, or mock you. So take a deep breath, push past the potential embarrassment, and confer with your physician about how back pain is affecting your sex life. Often, physicians can give advice that is really useful. By way of example, even just a modest change in medication can make a major difference in your pain.
Because Sex Is More Than…
Sex is more than just the sum of its own physical parts—it’s more than a formula of physical steps that lead to the “perfect” experience. Lots of that which we see in films and on TV these days makes sex the pinnacle of a relationship, the one thing that clearly defines you as a couple (think Grey’s Anatomy).
However, for the vast bulk of people, sexual satisfaction depends on numerous variables, not just physical performance. Factors, for example, emotional connectedness, a bouquet sent for no reason, attentive listening, saying thank you for the small things, or sending the kids to Grandma can add to sexual gratification.
And your back pain limits none of those things. You can still have a satisfying, intimate relationship—back pain or not.